So I got it...

...but i dun thnk i deserve it though. I didn't know that the bosses have gone to get the letter until my colleague fr another branch called me to tell me she got it n hope that I got it too. It was totally unexpected when I received the message fr my boss that nite.

Called Dar as soon as I cld & he was v happy for me but I was telling him and above-mentioned friend that I totally didn't want it and they both said I was being silly. It didn't help when I found out the next day that one of my staff missed the boat yet again!!! She is a v gd n knowlegable worker; conscientious and v helpful and the officers have been putting her up for it for q a couple of years now and still she didn't it!!! Felt v bad abt it coz even I sometimes go to her for help!!! Needless to say, everyone in the branch was v surprised and sad that she didn't get it again. I dunno if she was disappointed (coz I told her we gave her a gd appraisal) or if she expected it (coz finaly appraisal is still done by my boss) but I felt v sad for her; it is like she is not being recognised for all her hard work & effort whereas lazee me managed to get it. I attributed the fact that i got it to being they wana decrease the turnover rate as I thot most pp my batch got it but which I later found out wasn't exactly true!!! (But those pp whom i expected to get it r all v good workers as well!) So what does this mean? How come my staff didn't get it but pp like me can? Is it really about how you get into your boss's gd books? Doesn't this mean that it is all not about working hard?

My boss spoke to me privately when she gave me the letter and I took the chance to kinda ask her how come my staff didn't get it? She told me she knew that everyone wld be surprised but she said that to her, it is not juz about working hard and having the attitude, it is also about how the staff can progress from the next level. I guess I can comprehend a bit but if you do not give them the recognition with the bigger shoes, the staff will never be able to prove that she indeed CAN do it and that she is capable to make it to the next level. I told some of my colleagues what my boss said and they said that what she said is not valid, but I guess we can never understand unless we are sitting in that position. I can only hope she gets it next year or that she finds a new job whr she will be recognised for her job.

Anyways I dun thnk my boss really put me up for it; she might even be as surprised as me that I got it hahaha! How do I know? Coz compared to my other peers, I thnk I got lesser than them leh :( :( :( but I guess i shdn't be complaining coz 1 of my fren who got rather significantly more than me has to work really hard; goin home late and she is also the deputy so like my staff was telling me, the extra $ is not worth it even. So meantime, I shall juz carry on w my work and hope against hope that they dun transfer me out of my branch or even worse make me a deputy somewhere coz I am soooooooooooooooooooooo not ready for it!!! :P